The very thought of even making an attempt to move into these areas had me feeling numb. I realized that I would rather be numb to the desire, than to feel the desire and the pain of my past experience(s) that had tied itself to my desires. I know that this is something that I desire, but to see myself opening up that door to those desires I couldn't do it. We find ourselves afraid to enter the world of relationships, dreams and visions because of past pains and past failures. I begin to ask myself questions like; Sonya how is it that you can desire those things but are afraid to open up those doors?  I then realized that I had become numb to those areas of my life because I saw those areas in my life as a failure.

I realized that at the very thought of opening up my heart to those possibilities instead of me feeling joy I felt the pain that was associated to that relationship, and to that business that made me close my heart back up.  I begin to tell myself that I wasn't ready to explore those areas again simply because I didn't want to feel the pain of my past.  You see when you go through things in life it is the pain that was associated with the situation that makes you not want to even try again.  It can be anything from trying to have a successful marriage that failed to being in a  relationship that hurt  you so bad, that the idea of meeting someone new scares you because you can't see yourself being hurt like that again.  It could be that you made an attempt to succeed in business, a career, school, relationships and friendships that ended in failure. So the thought of being numb keeps you safe.

I was telling a friend of mine I refuse to put my time into something that will end in nothing.  But, honestly I will never move pass this numbness if don't get back out there and experience life again. I then begin to pray and ask God to remove the numbness associated with the pain of my past that had tied itself to my desires and help me to enjoy life again. As I was praying I begin to feel the emotions associated with my past and my desires begin to awaken again.  I realized that you have to go back out there and try again.  This is what success is built upon, 'failures.'  If we had never gone through these situations we would not have learned the value of life's lessons.  So how do you begin to feel or desire life again?

1. Ask yourself what desires have you placed upon the shelf of your life?

2. What were the emotions or pain that was associated to those area(s) of your life?

3. Pray and ask God to allow you to feel again.  I teach my students it's like going to the gym feel the burn  because it's building muscle.  Feel the pain of that situation so that you can move on with your life.

4. It's time to stop wondering how it would be but rather open up your heart and enjoy life again.

5.  Open yourself up to the many possibilities that God have in store for you.

The bible says, that a righteous man fall seven times but he gets back up again.  It's time to get back up again. Enjoy your LIFE!

Beautifully Speaking,

Sonya

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